Time's Up

This morning my Glucose was 73 when I woke up.  I had decided to run this morning and had gone so far as to ask my severely sleep deprived husband to kick me out of bed so I would.

He said to me this morning--"if you are going to go run, now would be a good time."

It was 6:45AM.--I guess that is what I can expect but since he did that for me, I ran on the treadmill for 15 min--actually 6 min straight because I had to warm up my bones. 

They were screaming at me they wanted to be in bed still and I had wasted so much time getting ready to run I wasn't about to stop.  I started about 7:45 and ended at 8:00AM.    Then to stretch I did 1/2 of my 20 min Pilates video to stretch after the pounding my bones had taken.

And now what am I doing?  On the computer at 10:00 AM---Where did the other 1 1 /2 hours go? 
Just a look into the world of the lost time of a diabetic....How many hours do I actually lose?

Unexpected

So I am going along, writing posts that I think are necessary for education or information and am not hitting any chords with any readers; then I write a post that puts myself out in the open for all to see and bare the naked reality of my reaction to having diabetes and IT STRIKES A CHORD!

Sorry for the musical references here.  I love music.  Nuf' said about that subject. 

So in the interest of readership: I will still give information but try to do it in a more personal way--I will be hanging out there in my naked reality for all to see and read.  Please be kind and realize that we are all struggling with some incongruity to our physical, mental, social, spiritual beings.  Some of us are struggling with all of the above and adding disease into it just makes the challenges just that more challenging to say the least.

For future posts, expect the unexpected and no more dry information posts, OK?

musings at 279

so here I go and actually share something I wrote in my journal 3 days ago. I keep it up almost as much as this blog--oh well.....

I am not diabetes. It is not who I am. I don't need to be afraid of telling people what my BG's are; but I am. I am afraid that showing anything other than perfection would cause people to hate me. I want to hide when my BG's are 279 like this morning and I am on a self-hate kick.

I wonder if people would accept me more if they knew what high and low BG's do to my moods, emotions, and reactions. I am convinced that people don't really like me. I am convinced that they would rather not have me around and wish that I would just go away.

Does this mean that I don't want myself around?; that I would rather that I go away?; that I don't like me?

Maybe I have it all wrong and not showing my imperfection separates me from others....