Reflections on diagnosis and how far I've come

 There was a Post on one of the groups I belong to about Diabetes and controlling it.  Every day I read stories about how a 5 yr old or a 2 year old have just been diagnosed and will someone please help them figure it out?

I don't know if I have said this before on another post. Forgive me, if so.

I was diagnosed while I was in my first Semester at College. It was the first term. I had an English paper due in April of the 2nd term. I was out from October to January. I thought my life had ended.

Usually I'm a pretty positive person and it has taken a lot of self work to get where I feel comfortable saying that statement.  

Diabetes brought all my stuff to the fore front of my life.  All the stuff I was running away from came into much truer focus and my hopes and dreams for the future receded down a hole I thought I would never be able to dig myself out of.

I had just graduated from High School with High Honors.  I was working my way through college and hoped to graduate with some kind of degree...but hadn't settled on one yet. I was making friends in my classes and living on campus. 

For the English paper that was due, I chose to learn more about my diagnosis and the impact it would have on my life.  I had an open topic and could choose anything I wanted.  I started to research.  This was before internet, social media, and the like. 

Sometimes it's really hard to control. The key to control is self control. It's the most important Key. You have to overcome addiction, Negative mental battles that happen all the time. Confront it all. I have tried to take my own life and life is so much better.

Once I figured out it was better, I made a decision to never give up trying to find a way to have level sugars and be able to age gracefully. I've been diabetic for 30+ years.

Learn about how your body works and find out what your enemies are. Then find a way to eliminate them. Find out what the consequences are if you fail at the elimination process. I went worst case scenario when I was diagnosed. The landscape was breathtakingly scary. I was in good health my entire life and I was facing dying slowly for years to come. It was what kept me going in the beginning.

As I have lived with Diabetes for so long, I have realized that I have to find a new Why every few months to every few years. I have to fight in the nitty gritty of life on the worst day possible and fight through to want to live one more day.

Some days I can take a break from thinking about it all the time. Other days, it beats me upside the head over and over and over and over....to infinity.

I've learned how to not be a B%$#h to everyone around me when my blood sugar is "out of whack", in either direction.

There are some times when my blood sugar is too low that I cannot do my job because my brain doesn't work and I cannot answer any questions, be pleasant or make any decisions because my brain is in panic mode and I cannot form the thoughts until I get sugar.

If my blood sugar is dropping really slowly, I don't notice until I cant have a coherent sentence. It is is falling rapidly, I can fall back on my back stops--glucose, sugar, drinks with carbs to head the low off. At times I have had to take a short break to get what I needed because I had already blown through my back stops with other low sugars. That's not necessarily a good day.

I've gotten more able to recognize when I need to take more action. I've gotten better at eating correctly so I don't have a low. I don't feel like I am playing Roulette every day anymore. It's nice.

Chrystal

Eating Patterns

 I used to be able to eat anything I wanted. I was 15

I used to be able to take insulin for what I wanted to eat with great results.  I was 20

I used to have the energy to do anything I wanted.  I was 17

It's 30 years later..

I can't eat anything I want, I can't take insulin and eat anything I want; I don't have the energy to do anything I want.

I am losing the desire to do the things I wanted to do when I  was 20.  

I never thought I would miss always going low in the middle of the night and being under 90 every single morning.     I do now. 

I'm most worried about the desire loss.  But I am not going to let it beat me. 

I haven't lost my thirst for learning how and why I need to do things a certain way.

I haven't lost the need to have so many tools in my emotional, physical, and mental toolboxes that I'm prepared for the worst that can happen. 

I need to increase understanding about how to eat to reduce the carbohydrate in my meal to next to zero.

                      And Still get enough to eat.....

Is it possible?  Maybe.  Will I find an answer that works for me?  Most assuredly.

How?  That remains to be seen.

By having an open mind and being willing to set aside my skepticism. 

By using a log to show my results.

By asking for help from somebody who knows more than me and then getting to work. 

What other path is there? ( this is a rhetorical question)

The Land of the Low

 In 2011 when I was running the Wasatch Back my pump malfunctioned: when I was at higher altitude, I was getting more insulin than I needed due to a malfunction with the reservoir. I got a letter a couple weeks after from Medtronic explaining but the damage had already been done. I couldn't keep my blood sugars above 40 the whole time I was at that altitude. I had tried to train my team and explain but my team mate who was supplying me argued with me about what I was doing and I told him to just do it. I didn't know why....the longer I stayed low the ornerier I got....I hate going low. I tried changing my site but it didn't help....I had trained at those levels, I was prepared to run the legs I was responsible for---I was unaware of the malfunction and it didn't happen on any of my training runs. It was really weird.

⁠
if the routine changes too much and I'm more active or less it does affect my blood sugars ....I'm going to bet she is more active because of the move: and it will calm down eventually.
⁠
I have a defense mechanism that I set up shortly after that: I buy glucose tablets by the 50 ct carton. I buy 5-6 cartons at a time and store them until they are needed: I like the Kroger ones: they taste good and they are inexpensive. 3.99 for 1 carton. I also bought some smaller containers that fit like 12 glucose tablets in each: I have glucose everywhere I go: I always carry it in my purse and car and I have it in the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom in 2 places. I also have my other favorite treatment which is nature valley granola bars: the crispy ones that I keep in my closet. They are for hiking to make you drink more water but I use them because they have 2 bars in each package and each bar is 15CHO and I can easily break it in half if I need less. I don't do candy: preservatives and additives make me swell and hurt my stomach.
⁠
I've had Diabetes for almost 30 years. diagnosed when I was still a teenager and a couple of weeks ago I took 30 min in my backyard cleaning it up and went low....I didn't even think about how that would affect me or check to see how much insulin I still had on board......since I'm prepared with tools for quick treatment: its wasn't so hard to come back up but it knocks you out sometimes.

IN Sync

 You know that just really good day?   This must have been a very good day for these two people.

Gold Medal Pairs Figure Skating performance

There are just some days where time just stops and Joy enters in.   Where you feel like you can live forever in this place .  They are beautiful days.  

When I fasted for 72 hours, my blood sugars evened out almost flat and I was 95% in my green range.  I usually fast 18 hours a day each and every day

Try Everything....

 Exercise....UGH!!!

the results are always lows in the 40's for days afterward....it doesn't take much. 20 min Pilates workout with Side Kick Series thrown in...total 30 min.    I

I'm really glad I'm not on a tight rope...I would fall off every time.   Roller coaster is more the norm here.  all in the green but seriously.  I'm more likely to go low than high.---of course I could lower my basals and I have been very very slowly.  

My husband asked me what the lowest amount I could go before I would have to go off the pump....

The answer is 0.6 units....I'm currently at 22.35 basal  Insulin to BG ratio is ranging: at 1:150 (insulin:blood glucose)  that is how much 1 unit will bring me down. Some days that is higher....

Also: I'm on Novolog and I have seen blood sugar lowering action 5 hours after a correction bolus.....and even longer.  I'm not talking about huge boluses either. under 4 units at a time. 

I'm afraid to take insulin for a high blood sugar after 7pm.   Sometimes I regret getting a CGM--isn't it better not to know?  

Enjoy....I'm still trying...always trying ...sometimes succeeding...always hoping to get some grace from this effort.

Body Talk--Hi's, Low's and mostly Mental stuff

Pay Attention!  Sometimes, it's really easy to ignore things my body is doing.

We all constantly get feedback from our body on all the activities we do, everything we eat, drink, absorb...

Are we paying attention?  Does it take a trip to the doctor before we start really paying attention?

The faster my blood sugar falls, the more anxious I get...I get a feeling like something isn't right and I don't know what it is. 

When my blood sugars are high, I am PARANOID...  It took me a few years to overcome the negative thought patterns of NOT ENOUGH.    It is possible to break those patterns and it sometimes takes constant vigilance when you are just realizing what is really going on in your head.

I used to write my thoughts and journal a lot....Just a couple of months ago I re read those pages...I have 2 journals full of negative self talk...I wasn't intending to put those words down.  It was almost like I was completely unaware of what I was writing and the power those words were having in my everyday life. 

They affected every thought process, decision, judgement I made about myself, my friends, my neighbors, my family, strangers....Do you know who always got the benefit of the doubt?  Friends, neighbors, family, strangers.   ....NOT ME!

The hook was never taken out of me.  I was always on the hook.   Does this sound familiar? 

Try it.  listen to what your brain says...write it down.  then: listen to Craig Manning on YouTube...

He has a Channel called:  The Fearless Mind.

Read a few books:  The Anatomy of Peace by Arbinger.    Loving What Is by Byron Katie.

Listen to the audio of The Untethered Soul...

We all have to battle the beast...we are just sometimes unaware that the beast is US. 

Recognize the fight.  Win the battle.   Keep going. 

Not Calling Names...Developing Grace and Beauty

   I'm trying really hard not to call people names...it just feels wrong somehow. trying to be more dare I say "Christlike"..???

One thing I think is my business is my business and yours is your business...I have a hard enough time taking care of my stuff...much less trying to regulate yours.

I never understood how...not why but How anyone would even have the energy to try to regulate the behavior or choices of another human.....If I haven't gotten control of my behavior, I have no business trying to regulate another's.....

I used to think: Well they aren't thinking of me anyway so why worry about it...so I didn't...and then I was cold and unfeeling...but its just practicality....

One of my friends was my walking partner for 6 months and she never understood why I never wanted to talk about diabetes. Then in January her 5 yr old was diagnosed. I got a text..."I now understand"....I would never wish this on my worst enemy...I try not to have enemies...but it's sooo hard.....It's really easy to get down....but...if you do get down---how do you lift others up? Sometimes I have to put on my big Girl panties and deal.....

Sometimes Life is HARD---and sometimes we have hard choices to make...if we choose to avoid--the choice gets made for us.

I always have a choice what to say....and then I go low and that choice seems to disappear....I always have a choice how to behave and then I have high blood sugars and I will say or do things that if my glucose is in the normal range I would be horrified...

Life is about knocking of my rough edges and being smoother.....fixing my stuff, dealing with my stuff and finding a way to live and age with grace and beauty.

Remember: Grace and Beauty...beauty in the body, the soul, the actions and the behavior. Grace in the demeanor, the comradery, the forgiveness....

Don't let life live you....make deliberate choices and live your life...your way.

OK: enough said...

Chrystal

Just Do You

Just some advice I would give to someone wanting to know if they can really do this. 

Just because you are missing your Beta Cells in your pancreas doesn't mean you are not enough. Sometimes the dragon gets the better of you and sometimes you kick the dragon out of the castle. Learning how to manage your life with diabetes is about kicking butt and taking names.


One time I was complaining about being diabetic to my husband and he said: well, don't be diabetic right now....only be diabetic when you have to check or take insulin..the rest of the time, live (ie: kick butt and take names. )


You are better than you think, stronger than you know and loved more than you thought possible. Remember...you are you and not diabetes.


Try to live in the moment. Don't live in the past: it can't be changed, only learned from. Don't live in the future...let the worries take care of themselves.


Get really good at doing YOU...find out who you are...this disease will show you all day every day...so will any other challenge. You get to choose ......there is always a choice. Make good ones.

How's it Goin'?

So I made a decision to get my blood sugars under control better than I have in the last few years.

It requires more checking where I am, using CGM, and using some new strategies for bringing them into contol when high or low.

My challenges are: When I take insulin for food or high BG, I go low or it does nothing.  I have a pretty high ratio of BG to Insulin.

When I eat, I have an almost instant rise in Blood Sugar that I have a really hard time bringing back down, even with a super bolus.


What I have been experimenting with is using my pump to take insulin at a different rate than all at once.  All at once has served me well for many, many years but lately it hasn't been serving me at all...

A Little Bit Off Today (Five Finger Death Punch reference)

                     A Little Bit Off Today

Every Night I go low, it screws up my equilibrium the next day.   This video says it well...

Explicit wording--but everybody says it....I'm just trying to eliminate that word from my vocabulary...sometimes it's the perfect word. 

A Little Bit Off Today by Five Finger Death Punch

That's all.  Now to the rest of the day.  I will try to pick up the pieces and make it a better day.  A little more complicated when dealing with Diabetes. 

Thanks for Listening!!!

SkiTwo

Hitting a Vein

The Speed of DKA and how hitting a vein can create all kinds of chaos in the life of a Type 1 Diabetic using an insulin pump (written Jan 9 2015)

When I have put a site in and hit a vein...I have super high blood sugars even though my cannula isn't kinked and the only thing I can think is the pressure of the blood is preventing the insulin from absorbing...I don't know because my pump never alarms...

It happened today and I went 3 hours without insulin....I woke up at 7:30 at 86...ate breakfast at 9.  Breakfast was nuts, seeds, an orange and some dried coconut...all of which I took insulin for..and changed my site at 9:30 (due to a low reservoir warning),  just before leaving for 3 hours.  When I got done and checked my blood sugar at Noon before going home, I was 343....I started to bolus and the pain was incredible...I suspended the pump to stop the bolus.......

---I was picking up my daughter and said we needed to hurry home so I could change my site again because it was bad....when I got home my blood sugar was 431....it was only a 20 min drive....

I pulled the site out as soon as I got home...my site started gushing blood....crap...hit a vein...changed site, took a shot with all the insulin my pump called for plus the extra percentage that my doctor and I have worked out for situations just like this.

I drank water and did the whole high bg thing of water, relieve, water, relieve---

2 hours later I ate lunch of salad with only veggies and took no insulin for it...those 3 extra units can cover that too...checked my blood an hour later and was :  gasp....106---the site change worked...   

then I talked to my husband about going back to shots and he reminded me how much of a hassle it was doing that...didn't I remember?  Nope...all I remember now is how easy it was to come down and how it only took one shot....

Sometimes the Slow way is the Best Way

I absolutely hate having a low blood sugar.  I have been looking for a way to avoid it ...
Here is a method I have been having some success with

I'm on a pump so it makes it really easy for me to do this

I have a blood sugar of 300 .  My pump calculates I need 4 units to bring my blood sugars down to 100....

My basal rate is  1.0 u/hr

I want to bring my blood sugar down in 3 hours.

I know that if I give the bolus insulin of 4 units all at once, I won't stop at 100, I will go low...under 70 or even 60

So I want to come down with an increased temporary drip over 3 hours.

In order for this to work, I have discovered that I canreduce the amount of total delivery by 25 percent by just increasing my basal delivery for a few hours. 

Here is what I program into my pump

Temporary basal for 3 hours
Rate of increase by percentage
175% for the 3 hours.

Check my blood sugars at 1.5 hours and 3 hours and 4.5 hours.

Results are steady and more level and I never go low.  At least I haven't yet.

I would love a chart to calculate all of this for me.  Maybe I can get my husband to make me a spreadsheet that spits out the answer.   That is a conversation for another day....

Sugar surfing

9 months ago I was reading some of the posts on a Facebook diabetes group I follow and the name of Stephen Ponder started coming up a lot more.
Someone posted a link to a Facebook page he ran and I clicked through to learn more about him.  He coined the phrase Sugar Surfing to talk about tight dynamic glucose control that helped him to achieve an a1c in the 5% range without the accompanying dangerous low blood sugars.
I'm at the nitty gritty part with all of the cool info and i am loving it.....

The WAY to Freedom

  I know the consequences of having diabetes--and I went through about 5 years of being non compliant...since I was an adult it wasn't give that term because who am I going to be compliant to?  I wasn't taking care of myself and I would go to the doctor and express my depression because I couldn't change that I had diabetes and the highs and lows were taking a toll on my body.  I was lethargic, emotionally stressed and tight wound all at the same time.

 My doctor would express his disappointment that he couldn't help me because he didn't have the information necessary because I wasn't testing or taking insulin or eating regularly.   My husband started teaching my kids coping skills and how to deal with a mom with high blood sugars.  We have done rules where they have to say mom check your blood, they have walked out on me because I was screaming because my sugars were 400 and I was having a hot flash of anger...

To TELL THE TRUTH---DIABETES SUCKS and BLOWs at the same time...it is a vortex of living hell (if you don't take care of it)  Everyone who has diabetes knows this---we all want to be free...There is only one way I have found to actually be free of the hassle that is diabetes---The hassle of worry that comes with: wounds that wont heal, organs that won't work right because of damage from Highs, Nerves that are destroyed, eyes that are blind because of highs, brains that are damaged because of highs and lows, etc, etc, etc---basically dying one body part at a time in the most painful way possible and putting my family through that pain also of losing me one body part at a time...

That WAY is ---Testing, bolusing, testing, bolusing, eating, testing, celebrating because the number was amazing and you don't have any insulin on board and you haven't eaten in more than 2 hours.---coming back from not testing or bolusing is a process that takes time.   To actually be in control, I have to do it all the time.  Even when you don't want to, even when you are rushed, even when you are late, even when.....fill in the blank.  Testing and bolusing or celebrating...period.

This is a simple, easy not complicated thing to do that we don't want to because we might be afraid of the number or the result, because we know we ate that donut...or that extra piece of pizza and forgot to bolus.

People have been asking how to get an A1C below 7% on a T1D Facebook group that I am a member of.  When I was pregnant with one of my kids(yes I have more than one--to the chagrin of a certain endocrinologist from my last Pregnancy)  my routine was: wake up, test, bolus, eat  a couple hours later, test, bolus, eat    bolus eat, eat bolus, eat bolus ( this was the time I was so nauseated that if I didn't eat I would be sick, sick, sick; you learn really quickly that eating = good, fasting = bad.  That's not a good scenario with a diabetic because I had to bolus every time I ate something, cuz my baby would have "birth defects" if my blood sugars were uncontrolled,,, etc etc etc.

Needless to say, all of my kids are happy, healthy, and growing and NORMAL.....well--I think Exceptional....

My first Introduction to DoTERRA and what happened

Almost 4 years ago I was introduced to a new Essential Oil Company...Have you heard of it?  It's called DoTERRA...I fell in love with the first drop I experienced.   The oil was Balance and the presenter at the class I attended asked if she could put a drop on the back of my neck...

I don't know why I attended that class...I am glad that I did attend though.

I knew it was a sales presentation.  I was really hoping it wasn't high pressure...I hate those.  I never take any money to these kinds of things in case of the high pressure tactics that I have experienced.  I was super resistant to any suggestion that I might want to buy anything.

The home smelled amazing, I thought it was just because it was really clean, which it should have been; there were a lot of people coming over.  I was really glad I wasn't the one hosting the event.

About 10 people showed up at that class and we squeezed into the formal sitting room to hear about "essential oils".  I knew what they were and had experienced some before but I hadn't liked the way they smelled or felt on my skin.  My friends' description of her oils was so positive, I was interested.

And then Jenn put that drop of  Balance on the back of my neck.  At first I didn't notice anything.  She went right on teaching the class and passing around oils that she was talking about .  Then I started to really pay attention.  The best way I can describe my experience was, it was like someone had come in and carried me away to a really peaceful place where it was quiet and still.  My senses were clear and the noise in my head had stopped within 30 sec.

You know the noise we always have?  The negative back comments about everything under the sun.  The judgments about everything and everyone we come into contact with.  The self judgement that we don't want to address or pay attention to and hope everyone else isn't thinking about us?  That noise---it was GONE....

Then Jen Garrett passed around Peppermint Oil.  I thought I had died and gone to Christmas Heaven.  Everything (well almost everything--Melaleuca still doesn't smell very good) smelled so good...so much different from the blend I had purchased a dozen years before to help my child fall asleep...it didn't work and it smelled yucky.

I knew I wanted to buy...of course I wanted to buy but there wasn't any high pressure selling going on...Just a  presentation about what the oils did, some of their properties and an invitation to come and do what Jen was doing.  

So Simple...So Awesome. .....

To Be Continuued.....

Forgot -- Forget --- The Cure

I don't want to test.  I don't want to test.  I don't want to test...I forget to test...I forget....

What about you...is this you?  What is the cure?

How do I shorten this?

The Chiropractor told me my spine was not where it should be --no surprise; and that it would take many appointments for my back to heal and there to be no pain--no surprise.

I was expecting to hear lots of visits and long time healing because of my husbands back issues and the result  of all the visits and the pain and the extended healing time.  I decided that I would try using my oils to deal with the pain and speed the healing time.  I had experienced accelerated healing already and my thoughts to myself were: "Why Not?  Why can't I heal faster?  If I don't experience faster healing, well there is always the chiropractic to fall back on.

I mentioned I wasn't using any pills to help the pain and he commented I must be in a lot of pain and asked how I was dealing with the pain.  I told him about Deep Blue and Aroma Touch and a couple of other oils for pain.  He seemed like he was just kind of listening and thinking...ooh--voodoo!

His reaction was what I was expecting.  I bet you think you are going to do this but I have been in this business for a very long time and you won't heal that fast.  You will be coming to me for a very long time; because he kept telling me I needed to come to him 3 times per week so he could help the healing. ---My husband did the whole go to the chiropractor 3 times a week and still has issues with his back.  (Maybe I should treat his back too! )

When I got home, I started reading about what oils I could use to nip this injury in the bud.  I have a book called Modern Essentials that I use to learn about how I can use my oil medicine cabinet.  My goal was to find some way to blend my oils into one oil to make it faster and easier to apply; and then I wanted it to be all in one bottle; kind of like a "one stop shop".

I knew Lemongrass, Myrrh, Lavender, Frankincense,  Cypress, White Fir, Cinnamon, Lime, Deep Blue, Marjoram, Wintergreen.  I know this sounds like many oils.  Not all of these went into my blend but I had learned oils are so adaptogenic or "smart", that I can have any of the listed oils in my blend.

I looked for anything that had that first common use as analgesic, then anti-inflammatory. From there I pulled out the oils in my bag that I found listed and looked at what the book said about them with my focus.  I finally settled on 10 oils to put into my blend.  They are:  Peppermint, Wintergreen, Cypress, Lemongrass  Marjoram, White Fir, Lavender, Lemon, Frankincense, Cinnamon.

I made sure they were oils that would bring oxygen to the tissues healing, helped with circulation, pain, helped enhance the use of other oils, lessened inflammation etc.  All of these oils work very well doing most of these things but together they made a blend that was so powerful that my pain and healing began immediately.

I filled a page full of information about oils that I thought might affect my decision and characteristics of the oils that would help me know where to place them in the recipe.  I studied about their properties and the blending technique that would be required.  The ratios that needed to be in the blend so that the oils could all work synergistically together to affect the healing process and the time required to heal my body back to perfect.  That was my goal---Complete healing and freedom from the pain, ache, soreness and discomfort.

Being a diabetic, I am very well versed about how long my body takes to heal from any kind of injury.  I am counting time in weeks and months; like a few years ago when I got a simple infection from a piece of toenail that had snagged and broken and was just hanging off and I clipped it off.  It got infected and I got 3 rounds of increasingly powerful antibiotics from my Dr. and the infection just would not go away.  It just kept reinfecting.  I got x-rays to make sure the infection hadn't spread to the bone.  I am sure they would start checking my blood to make sure the bacteria hadn't spread....etc, etc, etc.

I decided I would use the blend I came up with Morning, Noon and Night and anytime I needed help with the pain because it was too intense to bear.  At first I was using the oils every hour--just a few drops--if the pain was intense, I would use more drops.  If the pain was less but annoying, I would use less drops.  It was completely customizable to my situation.  I wasn't worried about overdose or timing to make sure I took the correct amount at the right time so I didn't over dose.

I knew I wouldn't be able to overdose with this blend, and I could use it as much or as little as I wanted, and it would help with the pain.  the first dose I used I got pain relief for 2 hours.  I reapplied and got pain relief for 2 hours 15 min.  and so on.

I was working up to only having to apply it in the morning before getting out of bed, sometime in the middle of the day and before bed at night.

Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night in pain and I would just pull out my bottle of oil and apply 3-5 drops to my hand and rub in onto the area of my back that hurt.

At this time I also started to double and triple my intake of liquids.  Oils use water to work effectively in the body and if there isn't enough water, I got dehydrated very quickly.  I was up to a gallon and 1/2 a day.

My activity levels went down considerably--I didn't move for the first few days and just did what I felt I could do on any given day.

After about a week of this I needed another adjustment and went back to the doctor.  He commented that I was looking really good and there wasn't very much adjustment needed and to come and see him again when I needed it.   I visited him one more time after that and after that adjustment I wasn't hurting at all--the pain just wasn't there and I was able to walk really well.  That was 2 weeks into my healing.

I had mentioned to a friend that I had shared oils with earlier that I expected it would take me 3 weeks to heal.  At the 2 week mark, I was starting to wonder if what I had boasted would actually come true.  I stepped up my application of the oils and added a little more to each application and that seemed to be the deciding factor.

At the 3 week mark--all of my pain was completely gone.  I didn't ache, I didn't lose any flexibility--I felt back to normal--AWESOME!  That is how I felt...AWESOME.

The Food Chain

when i was first diagnosed I was dismayed to realize I had to think about food all the time.  I had never thought about what I was going to eat from one minute to the next and now it had to be my life...I hated that part--the other part that was hard was as I got older I realized that I had to cook or eat raw most of the food that I eat because my body is so sensitive to HFC's, Soy, corn syrup, preservatives etc that I can't eat any of that stuff...HFC's mean blood sugars that won't come down ---preservatives and soy turn my gut into a war zone and I haven't ever been able to drink soda and when I did the war zone was multiplied by 10...I don't have anything else but Diabetes---no gluten intolerance but when I eat white flour my blood sugars rise so fast I have a hard time bringing them into normal ranges without bottoming out.

When I got married, my husbands parents gave us some Diabetic cookbooks...Month of Meals...some of you may be familiar with them.   I didn't cook out of them for a very long time.--I didn't know how to cook.  I didn't start really cooking until we had been married for 6 months.  My husband had been cooking a lot and when he told me I would have to cook, I said: how?  His response was: you can follow a recipe can't you?  I hadn't ever tried except making chocolate Chip cookies when I was ten...too much salt--ruined the whole batter....nuf said.

So I started cooking and learning.  After I had cooked for a few years I tried making bread...many times I would try and fail.  I had a friend that I worked with who brought a couple of loaves his wife had made.  The bread was really good...still made with processed flour.  I tried for a few years to add a little whole wheat with mixed results.

Then I was reading about flax...Did you know it can slow down absorption of glucose in the body from wheat?  The ratio is 3:1 for fat added to a recipe.

Of course I had to try it and put it in some chocolate chip cookies that I made.  I ate a couple of cookies and took the insulin I would need and within 20 mins was low.

I really hate going low...

Blessings Continued....

When I got home, my children were still up and I gave them the things they needed and they went to bed after our routine.  I in the meantime tried to call my husband and finally got him on the phone and we decided to make an appointment to go to the chiropractor first thing in the morning.

I applied some Essential Oils to my back to dull the pain and when my husband got home from work he helped me apply some more for good measure.  After the application, the pain was gone but since I was hurting so much before the oils, I knew it was bad.   I talked to my husband about broken bones and he said if it were broken I wouldn't even be able to walk and reassured me it was probably just bruised.

I slept, surprisingly well, especially since I don't move at all when I am sleeping and wake up in the same position I fall asleep in.  When I woke up, I didn't feel any pain because I wasn't moving.  What I did feel was the full bladder sensation (so glad I can still feel that right?).  This is a normal thing, it happens every morning without fail.

The PAIN came when I started to move to get out of bed.  Suddenly I recalled the night before and the trip to the bathroom seemed enormous.  Not only did I have to get out of a bed that is 4 feet off the floor; that is a good thing, really, but I also had to climb 25 stairs to get to the main floor of my home.  No I don't want to talk about it, except it was really slow and painful.  It wasn't slow because of the pain, just the pressure on my bladder.

At this point I was grateful for some of my other "blessings" of having the body I have cuz my bladder was trained just for a time like this, when I would have to empty it but wouldn't be able to right away.

I started dry-heaving because I was so nauseated from the pain and I had to remind myself to breathe several times.

My husband had called his chiropractor, and we had an early appointment.  He helped me find some clothes and then left me to get dressed and help the kids get going on their day.   Looking back at that now, I wish I had asked him to help me because I woke up on the floor screaming from the pain.  

We went to the doctor and I won't bore you with the details of getting there etc.  

Now I am getting to the really cool part about having diabetes and taking care of my body and healthy eating:  When the Dr. took the Xray of my back, he showed where the back was out and also pointed out how there wasn't a break, crack or anything of that nature on my spinal column.  He also commented how dense the bone tissue looked and how beautiful the xray was.   I asked him what he meant and he said  for my age, my bones looked beautiful.

What is so cool about this is since I have diabetes, I have been more concerned about what I put in my mouth than before I was diagnosed.  I have focused mainly on blood sugars and eating healthy foods.  Recently I had started transitioning to whole foods almost entirely to include whole grains, raw and fresh fruits and vegetables and very little processed foods.

 I avoid foods that contain ingredients that I can't pronounce or don't know the reason for them being in the food.  As I have gotten more information about healthy eating, I have worked on implementing it in my eating habits.  I had in the past 6 months begun phasing out products containing soy, high fructose corn syrup, and corn.

I have also been avoiding drinking anything other than water and the occasional fruit smoothie.

I had learned a month prior to this injury, the effect of drinking soda on your bones and I had mentally patted myself on the back multiple times for avoiding drinking it for the last 30 odd years as it has always made my stomach upset after drinking it.

A Blessing of having Diabetes

I have a blessing that I can say right now is the result of having diabetes and taking care of my body.  A couple of weeks ago, just before the weekend, I made a few bad choices that day and ended up getting an injury of my lower spine.---OK: the story is: I left my keys in my husbands vehicle, my bike wasn't rideable and I wasn't about to call a neighbor to help me.  I chose to rollerblade and since I grew up rollerblading and rollerskating, I thought it was a little like riding a bike....you never forget how to do it.  Right?

Wrong....I turned from my road going to the main road and there is a little steepness to the road.  I started putting on speed and tried to slow down.  Not being used to the feel of the rollerblades,  I didn't slow down but slid the wheels right out from under me.

I honestly haven't rollerbladed since I was teenager, and a young teenager at that.  I don't remember the wheels being so smooth and "slippery".  That was to my detriment because the end result was I kinda did that oh no, there go my feet...kind of action and before I knew it I was on my back on the road.  I was so glad I wasn't riding them in the middle of the road...

When I came down I landed straight on my lower lumbar spine just above the sitting muscles and the tailbone.  I estimate I was going about 10-15 miles per hour and weighing in at 155 lbs. the impact was quite heavy.  I don't know the math but I would love to know the force of the impact.

I remember just feeling PAIN and panic.  Oh no: I broke something, Ouch, Ouch , Ouch--you can substitute some swear words in there...a few bombs passed my lips...and I just laid there in agony trying to figure out how I was going to be able to solve this problem.

As it turned out, a neighbor was out checking the lights on their home and saw the accident and came over to me and asked me if I was ok and all I could do was cry because it hurt so much.  She asked me if I could move and I moaned no, please just let me be--

I was finally able to roll over onto my side and sit up but the pain was excruciating.  The neighbor helped me up and offered to give me a ride home, because I was having a hard time walking.  I accepted and then asked her if she would help me run my errand, which she did and then dropped me home.  I thanked her and went into my home.  (She was a lifesaver and I will be forever grateful that she listened to that nudge to just check her lights one last time.) THANK YOU J'AMAIS.

Check back tomorrow for more of the story.